Do you ever feel like you are a bystander watching your life like a movie? Do you ever get that feeling like a piece of driftwood floating in the ocean? Do you ever feel like you are going foward in reverse? Do you feel like your life may be an oxymoron? I do...sometimes I don't get it. I can feel like a ball of confusion sometimes. I could put together a pretty good soundtrack for my life...it would probably look like this:
1. Ball of Confusion - The Temptations
2. Place in this World - Michael W. Smith
3. Leave Me Alone - Extreme
4. Sailing Away - Styx
5. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
I guess it would only be an ep...atleast that is all I could think of off the top of my head. Sometimes it is hard. You think you know what you want, then you think maybe you were wrong. You think you should go left, but you should have went right. You zigged when you should have zagged and now you are gun shy to try zagging at this point. All this and I am really tired all the time now. But things could be a lot worse. My cousin's friend just passed away and she was in high school. She died of cancer. How does a high school girl die from cancer. Talk about not even getting a chance to live. That is brutal. I read a couple of their notes her friends posted on facebook last night. I was moved. I can't imagine having to deal with that at such a young age. It is one thing when someone close to you dies but they have atleast lived their life even if it was cut a little short. But something seems so wrong about a high school girl dying from cancer. So what they heck? I don't know. Right now I can't tell up from down and left from right. But I know it will get better. I know this too shall pass. I know I will get my bearings back and my compass will point north again....until then...I just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
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