Sometimes life is hard...

Wouldn't it be nice if we all had crystal balls where we could look in and see what is going to happen in our lives. Sure it would! But we don't. We only have faith and trust which is really hard. Sometimes you just feel like you are in a pickle and you don't know up from down or left from right. Lately I feel like that a lot. Kind of like Jean Claude Van Damme in "Bloodsport" where he gets blinded and is trying to use his other senses to figure out where his opponent is. Except my life ain't no movie! I am dying for some confirmation on what I am supposed to be doing over the next few years. My hearts desires are pretty clear and obvious but I have learned timing is everything. I feel a little in the desert right now and don't want to make the process any longer then I have to to get out. Yes, sometimes I feel like the carrot is dangling in front of my face and I cannot reach it....that is frustrating. I just want to know that I CAN at some point reach it. So many questions, so little answers. Enough to drive a guy crazy. I have an inner dialogue going on in me that is arguing about "Destiny and Placement" vs. "Make a Decision and Act on It". So which is it? Do I just need to figure out what I want to do and where that can happen truly or do I sit back and wait for the doors to be opened for me. This is really hard. For now I pray and wait for an answer on that. I have placed a proverbial fleece before God like Gideon did asking for some confirmation and/or sign of what I need to do. If He did it for Gid he can do it for me. Hope my close friends and people that speak into my life have some words of wisdom too. I need to feel like walking into my future and not waiting around squandering it, doing things I feel like I am not really supposed to be doing. But I could be way off base too...what the heck do I know!! Anyway, that is my venting and ranting session for now....until next time...